No Sense Is Nonsense Like My Sense
by theguywhohasaname
Summary: A fic many of my odd little original characters chipped in to create... Trust me, this thing is weird... Please read and review!


GWHAN: I just realized that I haven't written a good humor fic in a while. So I am going to make what may turn out to be a rather futile attempt at making an at least halfway good humor fic. I'll give it my best shot...   
Judecca: Yeah, like you could do something like that with us around.  
Dr. Zinfaield: Was that meant t be an insult?  
Judecca: You should know, you're supposed to be a genius. Besides, I said US. I would never insult myself, you should definitely know that by now.  
GWHAN: Would you two shut up already? I seriously need to get someone else around to inspire me...  
Momma D.: Well, y'all ken count on me fer insplertion.  
GWHAN: Um... I appreciate it...  
Momma D.: No problem.  
Wicke Dewitch Ufthewest: Bibble, bobble, toilet and torble, fire turn and cauldron tumble...  
GWHAN: Never trust a witch that will invite Hansel and Gretel over for dinner and not eat them. Their spells don't do too much.  
Wicke Dewitch Ufthewest: Filet of a funny stake, in he cauldron broil and spank, for a lucky charms (TM) box of powerful mumble, like a chicken broth spoil and gumball...  
GWHAN: My original (Wicke Dewitch Ufthewest is indeed original) characters are getting out of hand, so I'm going to just be a momen, kay reader people? *Whispers* Hey, Wicke? Judecca? Zinfaield? All you other people hiding back there in the shadows with the knives and the 'kill GWHAN' signs? I'll make ya a deal... This will be my oddest creation yet, one in which each of my original characters shall have part of the story in which they can have whatever they want to happen happen. Kay?  
*People in the shadows put down their knives and 'kill GWHAN' signs*  
Momma D.: Ima thinkin' thatsa good idea if'n I ever dun heard one. A darn good'un.  
GWHAN: good, I'll start.  
Momma D.: 'Scuse me? I'ma gonna start it. If'n y'all gots a problem withat, I'll sit on ya.  
*Others all cower in fear*  
  
(This'll be fun. Har w'all go...) Duo Maxwell had a farm way out in the middle of nowhere, with only one neighboring house. Momma D. Judd, her son Cledus T. Judd, his sister Faah T. (pronounced fatty) Judd, and their cousin Haugh E. Pihgg. Momma D., being the sweet, loveable, VERY skinny woman that she was--- (Judecca: Momma D., you weigh 400 pounds.) (Momma D.: Y'all shut up, now, afore I wallop ya upside yer head.) Being the sweet, loveable, very... Aw, slightly obese woman that she was, made sure to bring Duo a loaf of opossum bread, some skunkburgers, and rattlesnake steaks frequently, since he didn't go into town very often. And of course the young man who lived with Duo, Heero Yuy, had a crush on Momma D., and--- (GWHAN: Nice try, but when I said 'and make whatever you want to happen happen,' I wasn't rferring to this.) (Momma D.: Fine then...) Heero didn't actually have a crush on Momma D., it was only a product of her delusional mind. (Momma D.: Judecca, what're you doin' standin' thar by my keyberd?) (Judecca: *Grins* Nothing. I swear I didn't write anything.) Now, what Duo and Heero didn't know was that three bears and a little girl named Goldilocks lived nearby... (GQHAN: Somebody take the keyboard from her, quick!)  
  
(Dr. Zinfaield: I've got it.) And one day, when the stars aligned perfectly, a huge meteorite fell to the Earth, but the meteorite was made of a metal that affects only bears and little girls that live next to fat woman and cute 15 year old guys named Duo and Heero, and so Goldilocks and the three bears all died a horrible, burned-to-acrisp-by-multiple-shockwaves death, while being crushed by the meteorite that created them. Meaning the shockwaves, because a meteorite couldn't possibly create a little girl and three bears, it's scientifically impossible... Duo, of course, worked in a top-secret government laboratory, and spent all his time at the lab working on deadly chemicals. On one particular Monday, a fellow scientist, Dr. Valn Zinfaield, came up to Duo and showed him a chunk of metal. Duo inspected the metal closely and saw that it was only lead. "But it isn't just lead." Dr. Zinfaield informed him. "It is adlehnderanium. A mutation of lead, one that can only be destroyed by itself. Other than that, it's indestructable. Even gundanium can't hold a candle to the stuff." And so Duo helped the doctor construct a special mobile suit out of the adlehneranium.  
  
(Judecca: My turn, my turn! Gimme the damn keyboard!) When the adlehnderan was finished, Dr. Zinfaield, being the stupid, moronic guy that he was, drove home. But he took a wrong turn, of course, and ended up at Momma D.'s house, and he went inside and kissed Momma D., hinking that she was his wife, and so later, when his wife found out, she demanded a divorce, and Dr. Zinfaield was forced to live on the streets. (Dr. Zinfaield: I don't have a wife. I'm gay.) Uhm... Well, not his wife, because he doesn't have one. His boyfriend found out that he kissed Momma D. and broke up with him, so he had to live out on the streets. Meanwhile, Duo decided to take the adlehnderan for a little test drive. He flew out of the mobile suit hangar it had been constructed in, and saw Momma D.'s house, and thought 'Gee, she's such a stupid bitch, always bringing me all that gross food that I just throw away anyways, I think I'll blow up her house.'  
  
(Wicke: Bubble, bubble, Judecca's in trouble, give me the keyboard!) Duo, being the sweet, nice, kind, caring, gentle, wouldn't-hurt-a-fly person that he is, decided not to hurt Momma D., and instead decided to go to Wicke Dewitch Ufthewest's house for a night of wild--- (GWHAN: Wicke, I'm hoping to make this rated PG.) boar hunting. Yes, a night of wild boar hunting. Once he arrived at her house, he grabbed the gun that his bodaciously beautiful bodied, bright brained, big butted boyfriend Heero. Then Duo shook his head. "That was too many B's..." He muttered to himself. Then he entered Wicke's house. "Wicke, Heero's butt isn't big, you know. Really cute, yeah, but not big." He politely informed her, making sure he didn't do anything to make her even slightly unhappy, since he deeply respected her. "Now, let's go hunt some wild boar!" He enthusiastically shouted, and then the two left in search of some wild boar.  
  
(GWHAN: Who's next?) (Nosi Wan Kanickakanack: It is my destiny to be next.) While out in a forest near Wicke's house, the two spotted a huge boar, foaming at the mouth, charging straight at them. Duo had handed his gun to Wicke, since she didn't have a gun, and so he had to draw his lightsaber. He flipped on the lightsaber, and the boar stopped about three yards from him. Duo narrowed his eyes and grit his teeth, and then the boar stood on it's hind legs and removed a similar looking lightsaber. "My name is Garth Trader." The boar said, and then it took a close look at Duo's lightsaber. "I'll trade you this Garth Brooks CD for your lightsaber. And, as an added bonus, I won't kill you." The boar offered. After several moments of thought, Duo accepted. The two exchanged items, and the boar ran off into the woods, crying 'wee wee' all the way home. Once it got home, it ran to the bathroom.  
  
(Heythere Yuy: As Heero's uncle, I feel that it is my duty to force you people to include him in this story.) Back at the house Duo and Heero shared, Heero was having a nice, sane staring contest with a squirrel that had jumped in through the window while he was waiting for Duo to get home from the lab. "I refuse to blink, squirrel. You will blink long before I do..." And then the squirrel closed it's third set of eyelids, which were transparent, and therefore it didn't count as a blink. "Hey, that's no fair!" Heero said, and then he ran to the window and looked out it. "Oh, there's radioactive waste out there. That would explain all of this." Then a opossum flew threw the window, and Heero had to threaten to shoot it many times before it flew back out the window, where it was carried high into the air by it's four pairs of scaly wings. "I wonder when Duo's going to be back..." Heero wondered, and then he shrugged his shoulders, sat at his desk, and began typing on his laptop computer, which his uncle had generously given him, even though it cost far more than Heythere could afford.  
  
(Pink Weasel: I'll take over now.) (Judecca: That is not a weasel... He's an elephant... A pink elephant named Pink Weasel? Oh, shit...) Duo gave Wicke a bottle of Jack Daniels and then ran for the adlehnderan. Once there, he flew back to the house that he and Heero shared. In the adlehnderan, of course. When he arrived at the house, he got out of the adlehnderan and ran inside. "Heero! Guess what I brought for you!" Duo happily exclaimed. "You didn't need to bring me anything, the second you walked in that door, I had all I have ever wanted and more." Duo handed Heero the Garth Brooks CD he had gotten from Garth Trader and a bottle of Bacardi. "Alcohol." Duo said as he gave Heero the Bacardi. Which, of course, caused Heero to remember just what happens when Duo gets drunk... (GWHAN: PG, Pink. I'm not even sure that I can list it as that, considering what's happened already. I don't need you adding to it.) Which is, of course, nothing. Duo just gets drunk, slips into something 'more comfortable,' and then the two have a night of wild... Um... Boar hunting. Heero quickly opened the bottle and poured some of the contents into a shotglass, which he handed to Duo.  
  
(Gariegaya: My turn!) (Judecca: A guy with 'gay' in his name? This should be good...) Duo drank the contents of the shotglass, as well as several more shots, and then smiled at Heero. "Heero, have I ever told you how good those spandex shorts look on you?" Heero nodded his head. "Yup. Just about every day. Usually more than once." Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Okay. Well, then I'll just say it again, now, and then the talking will cessate. Those spandex shorts look good on you." Then Duo grabbed Heero and began to make out with him. Huh? Waitaminute... (Gariegaya: Pink Weasel! You got me drunk! I meant to say they ordered takeout!) (Pink Weasel: *Grins* Oops. Well, it's too late now.) After a while, Heero had to push Duo away so that he could breathe, and then Heero began to undr... (GWHAN: Bad Gariegaya! Bad!) Began to undress, and then... (GWHAN: Somebody else take over, quick!)  
  
And so ends chapter one... Please review! 


End file.
